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User talk:Aric Chojnowski
Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read this blog post for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I'd rather write a thousand-word story. (talk) 18:15, December 2, 2014 (UTC) Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the A Lesson Taught to my Bully page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SOMEGUY123 (talk) 18:37, December 2, 2014 (UTC) Story. Starting with plot issues first this time around. Do not open the story with this. "I wrote this in a journal, I will now read it to you, and it is true! Everything that happened I wrote in this, it is my life from 1992 and still is." Claiming a story is true at the opening is an over-used trope. You overuse ellipses again (25+ times in this story.) and as I already explained that in the deletion appeal, I won't go over it again. Additionally you use a lot of all-capitalized phrases which really should be in italics or emphasized with an exclamation point. Using all capitalized phrases frequently is distracting. Additionally the dialogue should be one form or the other. :" Hey(space issue) Emily! Did you know it's your birthday tomorrow? "(spacing issue) :Emily: It is?! Oh my gosh! What did you get me! What did you get me!(question mark missing) Other punctuation issues. Commas need to be utilized before dialogue. "I screamed(comma missing) "OH MY GOD! OH.. Oh, dang alarm clock."", apostrophes missing from possessive words. "man(')s name", "woman(')s name". Apostrophes missing from contractions. "didn(')t" Grammatical issues (it's=it is, its=possession) "...then it's (its) greeting system came on..." Capitalization problems "...Second Hospital" should not be capitalized as it isn't a specific hospital or title. There are also quite a number of wording issues. where/were mixups ("But the finger prints where(were) everywhere in there,", "The two children where (were)...", "The children where (were)Scarlet and Johnny..." The ending also comes off as gimmicky. "It could've been like this for years... I lyed (lay/lied) down and cried...I heard footsteps...." You seemed to jump from a ghost story to a hellish loop without much reason or explanation. (There are no real hints dropped in the story referencing this and so it just comes off as a twist for the sake of ending with a twist.) Those are some of the issues I found. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 23:17, December 2, 2014 (UTC) Dream Tunnel It says you triggered the blacklist filter. I would look over the list of Blacklisted subjects and see what may have set it off. (My bet would be on you mentioning a number of video games.) Other than that, I am still noticing a lot of wording errors: "“You sir, are the biggest idiot I know in my lifetime. Your stupidity makes me feel emotional and dumb.", were/where confusion, redundancies ("“What if what we saw in our dreams, what if we can make them come in the real world?”", punctuation errors, ellipses overuse (20+ times), starting multiple sentences with conjunctions, improperly titling video game titles, and capitalization errors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 12:44, December 3, 2014 (UTC)